Solo Travel Tips for Women Who Are Done Asking for Permission
There’s a version of solo travel that looks great on Instagram, the candlelit dinner for one, the perfectly timed sunset, the caption about “finding yourself.” And then there’s the version that actually happens: the guesthouse that looked nothing like the photos, the afternoon you got completely lost and ended up somewhere better than where you were going, the quiet Tuesday morning when you realized you were, against all expectations, completely fine.
I’ve been traveling solo long enough to have experienced both versions. Many, many times. And while I won’t promise you it’s always easy, because it isn’t, and anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something, I will tell you it’s worth it, at any age.
These are the tips I wish someone had given me. Not the obvious ones. The real ones.
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1. Stop waiting for the right moment and start planning the right trip
The right moment is not coming. There will always be a reason to wait, a work project, a budget that needs a little more padding, a vague sense that you’re not quite ready. What you can control is choosing a destination that matches where you actually are right now, not where you think you should be.
If you haven’t traveled solo before, don’t make your first trip a logistical marathon. Choose somewhere that feels manageable (for you), a place where the language barrier isn’t steep, the infrastructure is reliable, and you can focus on the experience rather than the survival. There will be time for complicated later. Start somewhere that gives you a chance to enjoy yourself.
The goal of the first trip isn’t to prove anything. It’s to find out that you can do it — and that you want to do it again.
2. Go slower than you think you should
Most people pack too much into a trip and come back needing a holiday from their holiday. The temptation to see everything, tick every box, and justify the cost of the flight by filling every hour is real, and it’s the enemy of actually good travel.
When you slow down, things start to happen. You find a neighborhood you like, and you go back to it. You figure out where the locals actually eat. You stop performing the trip and start living it. Some of the best experiences solo travel offers are completely unplanned, but you have to leave room for them.
If you can stay somewhere for a week instead of three days, do so. If you can go back somewhere you’ve already been, go back. There is nothing wrong with returning to a place you loved. Knowing somewhere well is its own kind of travel.
I realized how Instagram feed is causing me FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) and giving me the urge to keep going and see as many places as possible. But I decided to stop for a second and ponder what exactly I want. What traveling really means for me. And the answer was right there. This is why I haven’t been collecting stamps on my passport, and I am not in a race to see as many countries as possible. I don’t even count them.
I have been traveling around Mexico for 2 years, have returned to the Azores twice (and I am already booked for the third), and have been to Ireland twice, and I can’t wait to go back.
There is something special about coming back to a place, the familiarity of the roads and the shops. I remember when I went back to a town in Mexico after a year, the lady from a shop I used to go to remembered me. It was such a great feeling of belonging. Something that those who are always on the run crave.
I may have taken a detour here, but what I am trying to say, I guess, is follow your heart and go wherever you desire, not because you need to show it on Instagram.
3. Rent an apartment, not a room
Hotels work, and they have their advantages: security, staff, the option to order room service and speak to absolutely no one for 24 hours (genuinely underrated). But if you’re traveling for more than a few days, and especially if you’re working while you travel, an apartment changes everything.
Having a kitchen means you eat better and spend less. Having your own space means you can work without perching on a hotel bed or nursing one coffee in a café for four hours. And living in an apartment, even a modest one, gives you a small but real sense of being somewhere rather than just passing through it.
Whatever you choose, do not compromise on a private bathroom. Some lessons are learned the hard way.
I understand the lure of backpacking and wanted to make it on the cheap, but at my age (53 as I am writing this), I am done with roughing it. I love my comfort, and when it’s luxurious, even more so, and I am not ashamed to say that.
And even more if you go on a short vacation, treat yourself with comfort and whatever gives you joy, because you deserve it, just because you exist.
4. Understand why you travel better alone, and lean into it
Solo travel isn’t just about independence. For a lot of us, it’s about functioning properly. When you’re on your own, your time is yours. Your schedule, your pace, your priorities. You eat when you’re hungry, sleep when you’re tired, and work when you need to, without negotiating any of it with anyone.
If you’ve ever come back from a group trip feeling more depleted than when you left, you might be someone who travels better alone. That’s not a flaw, it’s useful information. Knowing how you actually operate, rather than how you think you should operate, is one of the better things that comes with not being 25 anymore.
5. Choose activities that make sense on your own
Solo travel has a way of surfacing which activities you genuinely enjoy versus which ones you were doing because everyone else was. Wander through a market. Spend three hours in a museum with no one hurrying you along.
Book a cooking class, a great way to meet people without the pressure of having to perform all evening sociably. Take a long walk with no particular destination.
And my favorite one, spending the whole morning sitting in a cafe reading a book (or working, for the matter) instead of exploring and rushing around to try to see as much as possible.
Anything that requires you to be present and curious works well solo. Anything that relies on group energy to be fun is harder. Know the difference before you book.
6. Eat alone without making it a thing
Eating alone intimidates people far more than it should. The trick is to simply not treat it as something that requires managing. Bring a book. Sit at the bar if a table for one feels exposed. I love to sit at a table, but near a wall or a window.
Order what you actually want, eat at your own pace, and notice how quickly it stops feeling awkward.
Some of the most interesting conversations happen when you’re alone at a restaurant, with bartenders, with other solo diners, with the person at the next table who noticed your book.
You don’t have to seek it out. Just leave the door open, but only if you want to.
7. Take safety seriously without letting it run the show
Tell someone where you are. Share your location with a friend or family member, check in when you move between places, and make sure someone knows your general plans. This costs you nothing, and it means someone is paying attention. Non-negotiable.
Learn at least a few words in the local language, not to impress anyone, but because the effort signals something. It changes how people respond to you, especially in places where you’re staying long enough that people start to recognize your face.
Read recent reviews. A neighborhood, a guesthouse, a transport option that was fine two years ago may not be fine now. Three-month-old information beats four-year-old perfect ratings every time.
And then, having done all of that, try to relax. Most places are safer than the headlines suggest. Most people are not a threat. Alertness is good; vigilance as a permanent state is exhausting, and it gets in the way of the trip.
I shared all my safety tips and some of my favorite safety gadgets in this post, including a door blocker, which goes a long way.
- SECURITY AND PRIVACY : This portable door lock…
- EASY TO USE : Easy to install or remove, this door…
- HIGH-QUALITY MATERIAL : The door security device…
- WIDELY USED : The security door stopper contains…
- COMPACT DESIGN AND TAILORED CUSTOMER SERVICE…
8. Prepare for the loneliness, and don’t catastrophize it
Loneliness happens. Usually not as often as people expect, but it happens, typically on a slow evening when the day hasn’t gone quite right, and you don’t have anyone to debrief with.
It is temporary, and it is normal, and it does not mean the trip is a failure.
What helps: getting outside, finding somewhere with a bit of ambient noise, calling a friend, eating something good, watching a movie or a favorite show. What doesn’t help: spiraling. The loneliness of solo travel has a way of passing quickly when you don’t lean into it.
What comes after it, often, is a particular kind of contentment that’s hard to explain to someone who hasn’t experienced it. The quiet satisfaction of having navigated a day entirely on your own terms. It’s worth sticking around for.
9. Know that starting later is not starting wrong
If you’re reading this at 45, 50, 55, or 70 (there is no limit, really), wondering whether you’ve somehow missed your window, you haven’t. The window is not a thing.
What you have now that you didn’t have at 25 is self-knowledge. You know what you like, what you need, how you function, what’s actually worth your time and money.
You’re less likely to spend three nights somewhere you hate because you don’t want to seem difficult. You’re better at asking for what you need. You’re more comfortable in your own company.
Solo travel at this stage of life isn’t a consolation prize for the trips you didn’t take earlier. It’s different, and in many ways better. Go find out.
Have questions or want to share your own experience? I’d love to hear from you.
